Bianca aka Mystical Queen Goddess is a leader in healing and transformation. Having struggled with feeling blocked with low self-esteem, generalized anxiety, trauma, emotional wounds, sabotaging patterns and limiting beliefs.
In this article, I will be sharing 10 powerful tips to stop self-sabotage and avoid overwhelm and falling out of good habits that you’ve been working on!
1. Plan the day or week ahead
When you don’t plan ahead, it’s so much easier to not stick to your new habits! You get decision fatigue and by not having a good option at your disposal, you have more chances of falling out of your good habits. Make some healthy food meals in advance to have throughout the week or wash your favorite working-out clothes so that you never miss out when you’re ready to move! What would set you up for success if you planned ahead? Do exactly that!
2. Create resistance to bad habits and remove resistance to good habits
Put the things you need closer to you and make them more accessible. Put the things that make you keep your bad habits away from you. For example: get rid of junk food, don’t bring your wallet when you go take a walk to that coffee shop you love, and cut friends who have the same bad habits you want to get rid of. Take the time and make a list of how you can create more resistance to the things you don’t want to do anymore and how you can create more access and availability to be able to continue the good habits you want to create!
3. Make your new habit pleasurable
That mug or cup you absolutely love? Use it to drink your healthy smoothie! The pink working clothes you’ve noticed in your favorite store? Buy them and use them to exercise more! Make any habit you have more enjoyable and fun! I am working right now in my living room which is surrounded by light, at a big wood table that makes me feel like I am working in a coffee shop, enjoying my favorite healthy cocoa iced latte in a see-through pink flower cup! When you make your habits fun, you’ll end up looking forward to doing them over and over again!
4. Don’t fall into the trap of overwhelm
We tend to put so much on our shoulders and to go from 0 to 100! You’ll never last long when you plan to incorporate so many new habits at once! Only one new habit could take a lot of energy and planning. Imagine when you put 10 new habits on your plate! It’s self-sabotage from the start! Start with one to a maximum of 3 new habits at once and see how it works for you! Overwhelm creates paralysis! Read that last sentence again! Instead of falling out of your good habits and then getting depressed because you’re back at square 1, just start small and be consistent! You'll create so many shifts and progress in the long run and you'll be able to build on that!
5. You absolutely need an identity shift
You can’t fall out of a bad habit and still identify yourself as someone who has that same bad habit! You can't call yourself a candy lover and stop eating candy! Choose a new identity for yourself! Close your eyes and imagine your favorite living place and imagine your new self being in that place. Have a conversation with her and ask her what helped her get where she is now and listen to her guidance! Stay in contact with her almost every day so that you incorporate more and more of her frequency. The more you identify with her and the less you identify with your old self, the more successful you will be in incorporating your new habits. Think and act from her guidance as if you were her NOW. Ask her: what would you do in this situation? And act from that guidance higher perspective guidance in every situation where you want change to happen!
6. Don’t eliminate, replace instead!
When you eliminate coffee, for example, that coffee was satisfying a problem, either boredom or tiredness. If you completely eliminate it, you will be left with the problem and no solution. Find a replacement that can still satisfy your craving and solve your problem. In this way, you will be less tempted to go back to coffee. This is just an example, but anything else can be replaced with a healthier alternative! Be creative and do your research!
7. Eliminate self-sabotage
Limiting beliefs are the biggest reason behind self-sabotage! For example, yesterday I wanted to write an article, which I did, but when it came to publishing it, I self-sabotaged by going to watch a TV series instead, saying to myself that I would come back later to it! I felt confused and I felt uncomfortable. I stayed with that feeling of feeling weird, and what came up was that I was afraid of being too much for people if I published an article two days in a row since I had shared another article the previous day.
I took that belief, destroyed it with fire, and replaced it with another belief: I am a blessing for the ones that need my wisdom and guidance! I programmed myself with that new belief, and then I felt ready to go back to my computer and share that new article while feeling good and confident about it! When you notice self-sabotage by not following through with your new habits, stay connected to the emotions that are coming up for you, that uncomfortable feeling that is in your gut. What is coming up for you? Journal if you must. What is the limiting belief that is coming up for you? Once you identify it, destroy it with fire (by using your imagination) and replace it with a new empowering belief which you can repeat as soon as you wake up or just before falling asleep!
8. Create consistency
The old habit is already deeply imprinted in your brain. When you start a new habit, the reprogramming of your brain is still shallow. Consistency is what will make the imprint deeper so it takes time! If you are used to falling out of your good habits, it will be much harder to come back to your new habit because the deeper imprint will always win! Therefore, consistency is what will bring you success and will help the new habit imprint itself more deeply in your subconscious mind! Create a daily mantra: I am consistent and persistent in my daily goals! Which brings me to my next point.
9. How to deal with falling out of good habits
Let’s say you forgot to plan ahead and fell out of your good habits because there was less resistance to your old patterns. You end up seeing yourself as a failure, you are disappointed, and you fall back into your old habits without hope for a new beginning! An “all or nothing” approach is the worst mindset you could have when it comes to creating new habits! Forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes, and plan better for next time!
There is always a reason you’ve messed up! Take the time to see your patterns, and ask yourself what went wrong? Forgive yourself and know that you are now better equipped to be successful when you start again because you took the time to analyze and come up with a new and improved strategy! Maybe the gym routine you chose was not to your liking! Maybe your healthy smoothie is not enjoyable to your taste buds! Maybe your workspace doesn’t give you the motivation to get your work done! Replace the strategy until you find what works for you!
Sometimes life happens and we lose motivation to do anything else other than to go through that tough period! That’s ok, take a break if you must! When you’re out of that tough period, get back to your new habits. Life is not always a straight line, but never give up on your dreams! With time, you will learn how to better deal with a tough period and not fall out of your good habits! You can come up with a strategy for that tough period as well!
10. Keep track of your progress for dopamine release
Make a checklist of your 1 to 3 new habits you want to incorporate in your phone notes. Each time you accomplish one, check that square box in your phone next to the task you’ve accomplished. By doing this, you will release dopamine in your brain making you feel good about accomplishing that goal and giving you the motivation to keep doing it. You can also use paper, whatever rocks your boat!
For the spiritual woman who is ready for a powerful, fast, and all-around healing and transformation to manifest your desires, you can book a soul-match-free 30-minute discovery call with me to see if we are a match made in heaven! You are worthy of living in abundance at all levels, start your transformation journey by clicking on this link.
Inspired from Atomic Habits by James Clear
Read more from Bianca Piculeata
Bianca Piculeata, Healing and Transformation Leader
Bianca aka Mystical Queen Goddess is a leader in healing and transformation. Having struggled with feeling blocked with low self-esteem, generalized anxiety, trauma, emotional wounds, sabotaging patterns and limiting beliefs, Bianca created her own transformational method called Transformation 360 because she felt other methods were not powerful, simple or fast enough for her. She has since dedicated her life to helping wounded spiritual women to heal, transform and reach a higher frequency that will bring them abundance at all levels. Her mission: to bring justice to every spiritual woman so that she too, can experience happiness and abundance at all levels!
