Amy Strekas, founder of Speech, Language, Learning PLLC, offers individualized coaching for neurodivergent clients of all ages. With over 20 years of experience, Amy, an autistic ADHDer herself and mom to a neurodiverse child, uniquely blends expertise and empathy to help individuals and families overcome challenges.
When you think of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), you might picture a young child who can’t sit still, constantly bouncing off the walls, and impulsively acting without thinking. However, ADHD is not just a childhood disorder, and it's not always characterized by hyperactive behavior. Many people with ADHD, particularly women and those from under-represented groups, are often missed because their symptoms don’t fit the stereotypical mold.
If you weren’t that kid who was always on the go, you may have been overlooked. ADHD can manifest in various ways that are subtle and easily dismissed as personality quirks or other issues. Here are ten signs that might suggest you have ADHD, even if you didn’t grow up as the “classic” hyperactive child.
1. You’re extremely talkative
Being very talkative can be one of the more subtle signs of ADHD, particularly in adults. It’s not just about being a chatterbox, people with ADHD often feel the need to fill every silence, sometimes speaking rapidly or jumping from topic to topic. This can be driven by a mind that’s constantly racing or by a need to externally process thoughts as they occur. If you find that you talk more than others in social situations, sometimes without realizing it, this could be a sign of ADHD.
2. You struggle with sleep problems
Sleep disturbances are common in people with ADHD, and they can manifest in different ways. You might have trouble falling asleep because your mind is racing with thoughts, or you might find it difficult to wake up in the morning, no matter how much sleep you’ve had. Sleep problems can also include restless sleep, frequent waking, or feeling exhausted even after a full night’s rest. These issues can be mistakenly attributed to other factors, but they’re often a sign of underlying ADHD.
3. You’re easily distracted
We all get distracted from time to time, but for someone with ADHD, distractions are a constant battle. You might start a task with the best of intentions, only to find yourself wandering off mentally or physically after just a few minutes. This isn’t just a case of being a little absent-minded; it’s an overwhelming tendency to lose focus, often leading to incomplete projects, missed deadlines, or forgotten appointments.
4. You have trouble prioritizing tasks
Do you find it difficult to prioritize tasks, often bouncing between multiple responsibilities without making much progress on any of them? This could be another subtle sign of ADHD. The executive function difficulties associated with ADHD can make it hard to figure out what to do first, leading to procrastination or doing less important tasks while avoiding the more critical ones.
5. You’re often overwhelmed by everyday tasks
For someone with ADHD, everyday tasks can feel daunting and overwhelming. Simple things like keeping track of keys, managing household chores, or staying on top of work assignments can feel like monumental challenges. You might feel like you’re always playing catch-up, struggling to keep your life in order despite your best efforts.
6. You have money problems
Money management can be particularly challenging for people with ADHD. Impulsive spending, difficulty keeping track of bills, and a lack of financial planning can lead to chronic financial stress. You might find yourself living paycheck to paycheck, struggling with debt, or feeling anxious about money because of disorganized finances. These challenges are often rooted in the executive function difficulties that come with ADHD, making it hard to budget, save, or avoid unnecessary expenses.
7. You experience relationship problems
Relationships can be a minefield for those with undiagnosed ADHD. The symptoms of ADHD, such as forgetfulness, impulsivity, and difficulty listening, can strain relationships with partners, family, and friends. You might find yourself frequently apologizing for missed plans, not following through on promises, or reacting impulsively in ways that hurt those you care about. These issues can lead to misunderstandings, arguments, and a feeling of being constantly misunderstood.
8. You’re perceived as lazy or unmotivated
Have you ever been called lazy or unmotivated, even though you know you’re trying your hardest? This is a common experience for people with ADHD. The difficulty lies not in the lack of desire to be productive, but in the brain’s ability to regulate focus and motivation. Tasks that require sustained attention or that don’t provide immediate rewards can be especially difficult to start and finish.
9. You struggle with perfectionism
Perfectionism might seem like an unusual symptom for ADHD, but it’s quite common. You may set impossibly high standards for yourself and spend an excessive amount of time trying to perfect every detail of a task, often to the point of never finishing it. This can be driven by a fear of failure or a deep-seated anxiety about making mistakes. Perfectionism can be paralyzing and often leads to procrastination, as the thought of starting a task imperfectly can be overwhelming.
10. You have difficulty managing time
Time management issues are another hallmark of ADHD. You might frequently underestimate how long a task will take, leading to chronic lateness or missed deadlines. On the flip side, you might have such a fear of being late that you arrive excessively early to ensure you’re on time. This struggle with time can make it challenging to balance responsibilities, maintain a schedule, or plan effectively for the future.
Why these signs of ADHD are often missed
Many of these signs are subtle and can easily be mistaken for other issues, such as anxiety, depression, or simply being “scatterbrained.” For women and other under-represented groups, the presentation of ADHD can be even more nuanced. The stereotype of ADHD as a disorder of hyperactive young boys means that quieter, less disruptive behaviors are often overlooked, leading to a lack of diagnosis and support.
Moreover, the coping strategies that individuals develop over time can mask the symptoms. You might have learned to work around your challenges, even if it means expending a lot of extra energy to do so. However, these strategies don’t address the root cause and can lead to burnout, frustration, and a sense of inadequacy.
Seeking help and moving forward
If you recognize yourself in these signs, it might be worth exploring the possibility that you have ADHD. A diagnosis can be empowering, providing you with a better understanding of how your brain works and opening the door to strategies and treatments that can help you manage your symptoms more effectively.
It’s important to remember that ADHD is not a flaw or a failure; it’s a neurological condition that affects how your brain processes information. With the right support, you can learn to navigate the challenges and leverage the strengths that come with ADHD. If you think you might have ADHD, consider reaching out to a healthcare professional for an evaluation. Understanding your brain is the first step toward thriving with ADHD.
Read more from Amy Strekas
Amy Strekas, Holistic Neurodivergent & Communication Coach
Amy Strekas is the founder of Speech, Language, Learning PLLC and a seasoned expert in child development and neurodiversity. With over 20 years of experience as a speech-language pathologist and coach, Amy brings a unique blend of expertise and empathy to her work. As an autistic ADHDer and a devoted mom to a neurodiverse child, she offers a fresh perspective and invaluable insights into overcoming challenges. Check out Amy's articles for useful tips on navigating the complexities of parenting, stuttering, autism, and ADHD.
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