Written by: Jacqueline Neuwirth, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Do you find yourself in constant pursuit of getting things “just right”? It could be minor things like finding the perfect piece of furniture or larger ones like finding the perfect job. Perfectionism may seem like a helpful trait that pushes you to do your best, but perfectionist tendencies can often do more harm than good, leading to stress, low self-esteem, feelings of shame and self-critical thoughts of not being good enough. It’s like being on a treadmill that keeps speeding up — no matter how fast you go, you can’t reach the finish line and can lead to burnout and mental health conditions and take away from your overall life satisfaction.
Here are 10 signs you may have perfectionistic tendencies
1. You never feel satisfied
People who are perfectionists typically believe that nothing they do is worthwhile unless it is perfect. . This insatiable need for perfection can lead you down a path of endless striving, where goals are continuously moved just out of reach. The result is a constant state of dissatisfaction and self-criticism, unrealistic expectations, low self-esteem and low self-worth, contributes to emotional exhaustion. Extreme perfectionism has a negative effect and leads to unrealistic standards and an inability to recognize and celebrate your achievement, no matter their size, fosters a sense of inadequacy that can diminish motivation and exacerbate feelings of burnout. Perfectionist traits contributing to burnout include unrealistist expectations and feeling that your efforts and achievements are never good enough.
2. You have increased anxiety and stress
Perfectionists tend to have a high level of anxiety. The fear of making mistakes or failing to meet high expectations can significantly elevate anxiety and stress levels. For perfectionists, the mere possibility of imperfection or criticism can trigger intense worry and tension, leading to a chronic state of stress that is both mentally and physically draining. This heightened anxiety not only impairs cognitive function and decision-making but also contributes to a negative emotion, a range of physical health problems, potential mental health issues and further entrenching the cycle of burnout. Perfectionism is a personality trait rather than a mental health condition. Perfectionists often struggle with feelings of inadequacy and worry that they will fail to live up to their own expectations.
3. You find yourself procrastinating or overworking
Perfectionism often leads to a problematic work pattern characterized by either procrastination due to fear of failure or overworking to ensure every detail meets an unrealistic standard of perfection. This dichotomy can be particularly damaging, as it sets the stage for a cycle of stress and inefficiency. Perfectionist behaviour leads to procrastination, bringing about guilt and a rush to meet deadlines, while overworking leads to exhaustion and diminishes the quality of the output, neither of which are conducive to productivity or well-being. Adjusting your perfectionist behavior and expectations can help alleviate procrastination, making it easier for you to begin. Sometimes “done” is better then “perfect”.
4. You have difficulty delegating tasks
Unhealthy perfectionism creates a reluctance to delegate tasks which stem from a belief that others are incapable of meeting one’s high standards. This personality trait can overload perfectionists with work, significantly increasing their stress levels and contributing to burnout. Self-critical perfectionism creates an inability to trust colleagues or delegate effectively not only hampers team dynamics but also places an unsustainable burden on the individual, leading to negative outcomes and a sense of being overwhelmed and a higher risk of burnout as it's harder to achieve unrealistic goals.
5. You have low resilience to feedback
For perfectionists, feedback can be perceived as a direct attack on their capabilities, leading to a defensive response or a significant blow to self-esteem. This heightened sensitivity to criticism makes it challenging to navigate the normal ups and downs of any professional or personal endeavour, thereby increasing the risk of burnout. Constructive feedback, instead of being a source of growth, becomes a source of stress and anxiety, hindering personal and professional development. Improving your communication skills will not only help you communicate feedback but understand how to receive feedback. Read more on my article “4 Ways to Stop Taking Things So Personally (and Reduce Anxiety)”.
6. You are experiencing physical and emotional exhaustion
The relentless pursuit of perfection and perfectionistic thinking can manifest in physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension, sleep disturbances, or gastrointestinal issues, along with mental health disorder, emotional symptoms like irritability, sadness, or a sense of detachment and potentially eating disorders, or obsessive-compulsive disorder. This physical and emotional toll is indicative of the body’s response to continuous stress and the unsustainable effort required to meet perfectionist standards, leading directly to burnout. Harmful perfectionism can also negatively affect your relationships, well-being, and overall view of yourself.
7. You have decreased productivity and creativity
Ironically, the perfectionist’s obsession with details and fear of failure can obstruct productivity and stifle creativity. The excessive focus on achieving flawlessness often means tasks take much longer to complete, reducing overall efficiency and effectiveness. This decrease in productivity and creativity not only affects professional outcomes but also contributes to a sense of frustration and failure, fuelling the cycle of burnout. When you overcome perfectionism, you may just find that your productivity and creativity increase!
8. You tend to avoid new opportunities
You are someone who wants to achieve success, yet the fear of not performing perfectly can lead perfectionists to avoid new challenges or opportunities, limiting their potential for personal growth and satisfaction. Perfectionism develops as an avoidance behavior. It is a defence mechanism against the perceived threat of failure or criticism, lowering your self worth but it also leads to feelings of stagnation and discontent as well as low self-esteem, which are key contributors to burnout. The reluctance to step outside of one’s comfort zone stifles innovation and personal development, further exacerbating feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion.
9. You experience compromised relationships
The quest for perfection can also take a toll on interpersonal relationships, and relationship problems. The stress and irritability that accompany perfectionism can strain both personal and professional relationships. The constant pressure perfectionists put on themselves can spill over into their interactions with others, leading to conflict, misunderstanding, and a sense of isolation. These strained relationships add another layer of emotional burden, compounding the effects of burnout and making recovery more challenging. Teens and adults who feel pressure to obtain the type of body purported to be "ideal" by society may develop traits of socially prescribed perfectionism as a result.
10. You have a loss of motivation and passion
Perhaps one of the most disheartening consequences of perfectionism-related burnout is the loss of the initial passion and motivation that spurred the individual’s endeavors. Over time, the relentless drive for perfection can lead to increased stress and lowered self-worth which all contribute to loss of joy in life. Overcoming perfectionism typically involves building self-acceptance, improving self-compassion, and building self-esteem.erode the joy and satisfaction derived from work or hobbies, leaving individuals feeling disconnected and apathetic. This loss of engagement and enthusiasm is a clear sign of burnout.
Struggling with perfectionism? I can help
If your perfectionist tendencies are negatively impacting your life, this personality trait may not be a good thing for you.
Another problem with perfectionism—and the reason you'll want to know if you possess perfectionistic traits—is that perfectionists tend to achieve less and stress more than high achievers. Unhealthy perfectionism is characterized by an excessive focus on control. If the signs of perfectionism and burnout resonate with you, it’s time to pause and get some assistance. As a seasoned life coach and mentor, who has successfully guided many clients through the maze of perfectionism, I understand the unique challenges you face.
If you're noticing that perfectionism is feeling more like a weight and less like a motivation, it may be a good idea to find some coping strategies to help you find balance. It’s not just about overcoming perfectionism; it’s about embracing and living your best life!
Sign up for a free chat to begin to get your spark back! Visit my website to read more about how I can support you!
Click on the Book a free chat button.
Jacqueline Neuwirth, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jacqueline Neuwirth is an experienced Certified Life and Relationship Coach, CPP and Master Certified Neurolinguistic Programming Expert, MNLP. She supports clients in the full spectrum of love and relationship coaching including dating and finding love, healing from a breakup or heartache, navigating an existing relationship or deciding to stay or leave. Jacqueline is helps her clients foster confidence, self-esteem, and build communication skills which assist clients in all aspects of life, including family, career and friendships. Combining a holistic and strategic approach, Jacqueline helps people transform fear, confusion and anxiety into love, freedom, and success.
Her coaching incorporates a lifelong study of both Eastern and Western philosophy plus her ten year journey of working one-on-one with a Zen monk. To assist her clients, she incorporates Attachment Theory, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Non-Violent Communication, Shamanic Studies and the Law of Attraction Principles. In addition, she brings in knowledge from a host of amazing teachers including Eckhart Tolle, Joe Dispenza, Bruce Lipton, Thich Nhat Hahn, Brené Brown, Esther Perel, Michael Singer, John Gottman, Helen Fisher and many more.
Jacqueline draws on her history as an award-winning entrepreneur, and previous owner of a 25-year career as a designer and art director working for Fortune 500 companies, along with a successful career as an exhibiting fine art oil painter with gallery representation across the US. She is also a mom, friend, sister, and inspired by all things related to personal development and finding joy, easy and flow in life!
If you are ready to make lasting change, visit her website and sign up for a free consultation at www.jacquelineneuwirth.com
