Written by: Dr. Kapil and Rupali Apshankar, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Self-love and self-care have become popular topics in recent years, and for good reason. Practicing self-love can lead to improved mental and physical health, as well as greater life satisfaction. With some simple daily practices, you can start to cultivate more self-love and see positive changes. Here is a 10-day plan to get you started:
Day 1: Identify areas for growth
The first step is to reflect on different aspects of your life and identify areas where you’d like to grow in self-love. Think about your relationships, career, physical health, emotional well-being. Journal or make a list of the areas you’d like to focus on, such as being more compassionate to yourself, establishing better boundaries, or taking better care of your body. Recognizing specific ways you can improve your self-love lays the foundation for change.
Day 2: Picture your best self
Visualization is a powerful technique that can help you connect with your ideal self. Set aside some quiet time and imagine yourself as the highest, best version of yourself. What are her qualities, goals, and values? How does she speak to herself and treat others? Visualizing this version of you makes it feel more attainable. Research shows that imagining your best self can improve motivation and well-being (Oyserman, Bybee & Terry, 2006).
Day 3: Quiet the inner critic
That judgmental voice inside all our heads can seriously undermine self-love. When you notice your inner critic making negative comments, talk back to it. Ask yourself if this voice is helpful and try to reframe the critique into a more supportive message. Or counter it with positive truths about yourself. Don’t believe everything you think – put the inner critic in its place. With practice, you can soften self-judgment and treat yourself with more kindness.
Day 4: Identify your strengths
Make a list of your positive qualities, talents, and values. What do you appreciate about yourself? What are you good at? What principles guide your life? Refer back to this list when you’re feeling down or having self-doubts. Our culture can sometimes focus more on flaws than strengths, but we all have many wonderful attributes. Reminding yourself of these can boost self-esteem (Seligman, 2005).
Day 5: Do things you enjoy
When life gets busy, we often neglect to make time for fun. But engaging in enjoyable activities, hobbies and creative pursuits is vital for self-care. Schedule in downtime to do whatever brings you happiness, whether it’s drawing, hiking, cooking, reading, or listening to music. Make pleasure a priority – you deserve to follow your bliss! Carving out this time tells yourself that your fulfillment matters.
Day 6: Practice daily affirmations
Affirmations are short, positive statements you repeat to yourself to counteract negative thinking patterns. Some examples: “I deeply love and accept myself,” “I am worthy of happiness,” “I am safe and protected.” Pick a few affirmations that resonate with you. Repeat them out loud or write them down each day. Affirmations rewire your brain over time to believe more supportive messages about yourself.
Day 7: Set healthy boundaries
Creating healthy boundaries communicates self-respect and preserves your energy. Notice situations where you may sacrifice your needs to please others. Being assertive doesn’t make you selfish – it makes you human. Start small by saying no to requests that don’t serve you. Remember, your wellbeing matters as much as anyone else’s. Healthy boundaries lead to healthy relationships.
Day 8: Practice self-compassion
Many of us are far kinder to others than we are to ourselves. Treat yourself as you would a good friend – with compassion. Self-compassion expert Kristin Neff describes three key components: mindfulness (not overidentifying with emotions), common humanity (remembering we all suffer) and self-kindness (talking gently to yourself) (Neff, 2011). Try soothing yourself with a loving voice when you’re struggling. You deserve kindness.
Day 9: Express gratitude
Taking time to appreciate the blessings in your life counteracts negative thinking and cultivates self-love. At the end of each day, write down 3-5 things you’re grateful for – big or small. Feel the positive emotions behind each one. Regular gratitude practice can rewire your brain over time to focus less on the negative. It also reminds you of the gifts inherent in your life.
Day 10: Revisit your self-love goals
Look back at the areas for self-love growth you identified on day one. Reflect on any positive changes over the past ten days. Then set intentions for continuing your self-love journey. Consider writing a letter from your future self celebrating the self-love progress you’ve made. Saving this can inspire you during challenging times. Remember that self-love is a lifelong practice – be patient and celebrate each step forward.
With small, consistent actions each day, you can gradually transform your relationship with yourself. There will be ups and downs, but the rewards of self-love are worth it. You are worthy of love – from yourself and others. By making self-care a priority, you can live a more joyful and fulfilling life.
The journey begins with a single step. Start today to become the loving, compassionate friend you deserve.
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Dr. Kapil and Rupali Apshankar, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Kapil and Rupali are Amazon's 1 bestselling authors and globally respected business and life strategists. They are founders of Blissvana, a boutique personal development, self-growth, and success studio. Their coaching methods have been proven at the highest levels of success in every dimension of human life. Kapil and Rupali's lives revolve around love, happiness, abundance, and bliss ‒ at home and work. Kapil and Rupali's purpose is to create the highest possible quality of life they can for themselves, and the people they love while helping others around them do the same.
